so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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