I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
