ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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