he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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