I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
