I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
This beer is not sobering me up at all
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
