I think i sorta joined a cult last night
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
