She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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