hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
