awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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