I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
