WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
