bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
