I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
