gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
