Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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