he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
