giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
