mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
