First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
