i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
