i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
