What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
do herpes really smell.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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