her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I had to cum in my sink.
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