Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
