you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize