I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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