You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
