idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Do vagina's smell?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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