I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
