sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
