Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
