Swine flu. Run for my life!
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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