You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
