end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
