Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
