Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Randomize
