I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
