Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
