Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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