Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
