I got chris browned last night
I think my fart just growled at me.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
