He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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