OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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