Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Randomize
