That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
