found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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