that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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