I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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