i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
